Daddy’s little girl.

Good evening my bff,

I never had a chance to be daddy’s little girl. Not because my father died at an early age, but because I never was introduced to him. I don’t know his name first or last. I don’t have any pictures of him. I don’t know if he is still living or not. Where he’s from, nothing. Who is this mystery man? Is he famous? did he ever want to meet me? Is he tall or short? Is he built like the Rock? or Snoop Dog? I wanna know if I look like him? But for some reason my father’s information has been kept a top secret and I don’t know why but sometimes I feel like I might not want to know and a part of me is like I need to know because I don’t feel complete. Not knowing who my father is has been tough for me over the years growing up my adult life. People would say to me that as long as you know who your real father is (GOD) you should be alright. But isn’t it important to know who your family is? I mean when it comes to answering medical questions about your parents I would want to know their medical history wouldn’t you? When I was diagnosed with breast cancer that was the question asked. Did anyone in your family have breast cancer on your mother or father’s side. And I would give them information on my mother’s side. What about your father side of the family? I couldn’t tell you doc. Who are my grandparents, uncles, aunts, sisters and brothers? I mean not knowing anything at all, that’s tough. Dealing with abandonment issues has become huge for me growing up and even in my adult life. As I look back at some of the decisions I made over the years in relationships, people pleasing, not knowing how to say no, they were based on my abandonment issues. I didn’t want to be left out so I would do or say things to please them so they would like me. One thing I know for sure, is I may not be daddy’s little girl, but I’m my own bff growing and learning each day on how to not abandon myself. Making decisions that pleases me. Peace